Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having a child together?

well he was not my spouse bt my bf and he left way before the baby was born :(How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having a child together?
Not so much has it changed but some things that went unnoticed were really noticed after our first daughter was born.


When we first got together it was us all the time and then abouta year into it his family came first,which I never complained about because we didnt have a daughter to take care of at the time...then it was him with his friends all the time...again not that big of a deal.Until our first daughter was born...then it all hit me like a ton of bricks that unless stuff changed a bit this wasn't going to work because I was a single parent with the father of my child living with me...and at times it seemed like I was taking care of a grown man like my own child. We did split up once but got back together a month later.We now have 2 daughters and another daughter due on Sept. 29th and things couldn't be better...he is now a family man and has been for some time and we always come before everyone else now...I think every relationship gets a little rough in the beginning after bringing a new baby into the world and realizing that its about the baby now and no longer about you and your needs first. But as the months go by it gets a lot better...its just some people don't stay together to find it out...and some just weren't meant to be like they thought they were.How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having a child together?
Well, as my baby is only 1 week old, and today is my husbands first day back at work- I have been sitting here alone thinking about this.





Its great, cos he is a great Dad and Hubby, but I worry a lot about us losing the playful, flirty, joyous side to our relationship that we would have done with the time that is now spent taking constant care of the bubby. I talked to him about it and said a few times I want to make sure we make the effort to still cuddle on the lounge for a little while each evening and cuddle and kiss at least once or twice a day. I think these things require effort when you are so busy. I really worry about our lovely bond fizzling out. And also he loves our bubby so much (as do I) that I worry he won't have enough love left over to give me what he used to... I cried a bit about it the other day. I hope I am wrong and we'll be fine. I love him so much so I tell him how much I appreciate him and what a great guy he is. I show him I love him all the time- I hope thats enough. I'm sure we'll be OK, I know he loves me a lot and maybe some of his affection will re-focus back to me once he is more used to the baby.
it has changed HORRIBLY!! and i don't know why! it sucks so bad! ever since we brought our son home 5 months ago we haven't had a day with out arguing. and it gets worse everyday! we actually are talking divorce and we've only been married a year! i don't know why we are like this now! we NEVER argued before and while i was pregnant and we were together for 3 years before we got married and best friends for 5. its like we just all of a sudden fell out of love, its so weird...
my husband deployed in december, our son was born in may, he came home for 18 day r%26amp;r in june, and he's not due home till march, but in those 18 days he was home and in the way he talks about our son, i notice a HUGE change just in him. for the better! he's an amazing father and seeing him with our son just made me fall in love with him all over again. we get along better, we talk things through better, we argue less, and he always appreciated me before but he appreciates the crap out of me even more now.





ahhh this makes me all giddy for the day he comes home :D
The focus has gone off just us two to our baby. Less time for hugs and kisses for each other, especially compared to how much attention I got from him while pregnant!!





For both of us the baby is now our first priority. We have to make sure her needs are met before we look after ourselves.





But everytime we look and play with her my husband says that he cant believe we made such a beautiful baby.


It has brought us closer in that we now have someone that is part of both of us.





We try to make time for each other though. Luckily we stay with the in-laws which is great. No cooking or cleaning for me to do!! And we go out a few times a week without baby. Sometimes just for a short drive or we've even managed to go to the movies :)


It helps that we have great support.





Relationship sexually...with a 7 week baby I would rather sleep!!
He's no longer the most important thing in my life, my baby girl is my TOP priority now. Also, the whole sex thing has gone VERY downhill, although it has only been 5 weeks since I gave birth, after seeing what he saw and doing what I did, I don't think either of us will be 'in the mood' for a VERY loooong time hehe
We have more things to discuss and have become better at handling our problems. We live apart due to our jobs but I am very diligent in keeping him updated on our son's development and sending pictures daily. Our love is stronger and he finds more ways to please me.
There's a better partnership and friendship now. :)
Yes for the better, we are much closer now.

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