Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What simple/small thing(s) could your spouse to do that would improve your relationship?

I know a lot of women who say that they would feel so much happier, and thus reciprocate, if their man would just make an effort to do small things (like tell her she鈥檚 beautiful, cook dinner, do the dishes etc. once in a while).





Men, if you know these small things would go a long way to help improve your relationship, what keeps you from doing them (assuming that you are not)?





Of course I鈥檓 interested in hearing the flip side too.What simple/small thing(s) could your spouse to do that would improve your relationship?
I do everything I possibly can to get my wife in the mood and with her low sex drive there are times that EVERYTHING doesn't work.





What little thing could my wife do every once in a while? Fake it and let me have sex! Who knows she might get into it once we get going?What simple/small thing(s) could your spouse to do that would improve your relationship?
We don't realize how important those things are to you.


0 confidence (lack of trust) it would make a difference in how you love us back.





You don't reciprocate to us by doing simple/little things for us - that doesn't make us happy the way it makes you happy. That's not to say /never/ do those things, but typically that it's not #1 nor #2/3/4/5 to us.
Do unto others....





Marriage is a two way street. I can only talk hypotheticals since there is no direct circumstance. Many times marriages are faulty just because people fall into a rut of behavior. We are creatures of habit, and we sometimes fall into them without knowing it.





First step would be to talk about it, but acknowledge that you could do the same (like tell him how hot he is, join him in a hobby or sport event, do some chores you would normally expect him to do). Combine the conversation with your actions in following up on it and ask him to do the same. (note: never expect a certain outcome or you will most likely be setting yourself up for failure)





Remember also that there is no such thing as a ';perfect marriage'; for we as humans are imperfect.
He's already doing 99.9% of things that make our relationship good. I wouldn't mind it if he went dancing with me every once in a while - it wouldn't result in some dramatic improvement, it would just be a nice touch - however, he hates dancing, and I respect that. I can always find a friend or two to go to the dance class with.
I go online such as yahoo answers to see what others have done that I haven't done yet..I personally love to do small things because I know the small things add up.. Here I go


I do make the bed, wash dishes, n so on... I leave little notes in her makeup bag saying ';i love you';. I stick them by the toilet paper so she'll see them there. I call her at work and as quickly as possible tell her '; i just called to say that thinking of you makes my heart skip. I love you and I'm happy to have you, I hope you are having a great day at work';. I have gotten better in the kitchen so I will make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If she wants to talk about work I listen not talk. I give her back rubs when she asks. I talk about what bothers me not complain. And I kiss her for more than 10 seconds every day, and I tell her at night that I love her very much. And in the morning, I tell her she's my ray of sunshine. ( also to our daughter). I do what most men think is stupid, dumb, boring, and lame. I listen to her not my ego
I'm living with the same problem. My husband USE to help do it all, right down to making the bed together each day. He slowly stopped helping. Raising 5 children and working 40 hours a week on top of all the cleaning, paying bills and going to the grocery has worn on me.


I don't have any good advice for you because every thing I've tried hasn't worked.


I'm just down to doing it all and I don't complain and I offer myself to him anytime he asks. He's spoiled and he takes pride in that.
It would so much improve our relationship if he would stop smoking. My husband has meaty, kissable yummy lips and I've refrained from kissing him cause he smells like a ashtray all the time. He also isn't organized which drives me insane and away.
What I think helps is doing little unexpected things from time to time for eachother...IE: Making your Husbands favorite meal, Sitting a Gift Certificate for a Pedicure in your Wife's car, just little thoughtful selfless things--they go a LONG way! :)
I would be much happier if my husband would get up on the weekends instead of sleeping so late, and if he would learn to communicate with me better and not be so stubborn sometimes.


The little things he has no problem with.
';spy'; on her to see what she really wants deep down and surprise her with it. make her feel loved. make her feel like she is the best and you wouldn't replace her for anything.
My husband can come back from africa because he's been there helping the Africans for a while.
Do the things he used to do..leave little loves notes, cook dinner, help clean up, small sweet gifts (little stuffed animals..etc)
I do cook and tell her nice things.


It does not go both ways.





Now for me it would be oral sex.


That would make me very happy.
Maybe men would if the woman would just shut the hell up long enough to let the man.
The dishes :)
If she would cook, that would be great.
He is fine the way he is.
Be up after 9 p.m. She has no stamina. I don't think we've made love after 9 or even watched a movie together more than a handful of times in the past decade or so.
I think I am pretty good at doing little things for my boyfriend. I write him letters every now and again when I'm thinking of him, I buy him his favorite magazine if I happen to be out and think of it, I call him after work sometimes and tell him to get ready because I'm taking him out for dinner. He surprises me with a book he thinks I'll like, or a nice text message randomly throughout the day. We went through a period in our relationship where we both got too comfortable and thus started to drift apart, but we both wanted to stay together so we consciously decided to put more of an effort in.
Because they get sex anyways so why bother doing extra.


And then if they can't stand the bitching, they stay at work longer.





On a deeper level, a man feels he is being attacked or put down when a woman asked for more (as if he isn't doing enough) and that's pretty discouraging. Over the long run, he feels unappreciated and can become resentful.





Men have a priority list going on in their minds that include all the things they need to/ wish to do. The favors woman ask just don't rank very high, or they do only for a short time and then they are forgotten.


Woman have more social skill and can better organize within their minds the needs of others. Men have not evolved this way and tend to be more selfish or focus on the tangible reality of their world. Men live in the moment moreso then woman who spend alot of time worrying and planning within their minds.





( don' get me wrong, a girl can totally be self-centered and selfish ~ but a real --%26gt;woman%26lt;-- is another story.)

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